Lindsay Lohan’s Ankle Monitor Went Off

''Must.. jam.. butter knife.. in.. green.. wire..”
So, remember last year when Lindsay Lohan had to wear a SCRAM device and it went off every five minutes because she’s a fucking idiot? You’ll never believe how things are going with her house arrest. Via The LA Times:

"The “Mean Girls” actress is required to wear an ankle monitoring device that randomly checks via a base unit that she is within the premises of her home. Law enforcement sources told The Times that her monitoring unit went off Tuesday, though it’s unclear why.
Steve Honig, a spokesman for the actress, said in a statement to the Times, “They came as part of standard procedure to make sure the monitoring equipment was working properly.”

For the record, Lindsay’s house arrest is probably the biggest joke in the history of law considering she’s allowed to have however many visitors she wants whenever she likes, and she doesn’t even to have to take drug tests. So, of course, she’s going to try and leave after barely two weeks, and then blame it on faulty equipment. And has anyone noticed how Lindsay always seems to get the shittiest monitoring device available? Seriously, it’s only a matter of time until she starts telling people her anklet’s secretly a teleportation device because the judge is out to get her. “I swear to God, I was just sitting in my room quietly writing poetry about the beauty of sobriety and BAM! Suddenly, I’m at Marmont trying to stop this stupid anklet from ordering the vodka I like. It’s so unfair!”